“I spent my childhood in this beautiful village, studied at the 'Aydyn-Köl' secondary school, and was one of the most active students. After completing the 9th grade, I decided to move to Bishkek to fulfill my dream of becoming a journalist, but I learned that I needed a high school diploma for that. However, I didn’t want to go back,” Kyzhibek recalls.
She enrolled in the Bishkek Humanities University in the economics department, choosing marketing as her specialty, and successfully completed her studies. But the dream of journalism did not leave her, and she transferred to the journalism department starting from the third year. Unfortunately, illness forced her to take an academic leave, and she was unable to return to her studies. Thus, she ended up with a diploma in marketing.
After finishing college and facing illness, she spent time at home. One day, a friend invited her to a meeting, and on that day, while returning home, Kyzhibek met her future husband. This happened on October 13, 2014, on his 19th birthday, when he turned out to be a friend of her friend.
The next day, he got her number from her friend and started calling. Inviting her to meet, Kyzhibek, upon learning that he was from At-Bashy, thought that the relationship would not develop, but he jokingly remarked, “You will fall in love with me!” Soon they began to communicate by phone every day and occasionally meet while he was studying in his second year at university and working as a security guard.
Over time, their mutual affection strengthened, but after two years, quarrels began in their relationship. One day, he suggested doing a “söykö saluu” (engagement with the bride receiving earrings).
And so it happened, and after four years of dating, her husband proposed. Kyzhibek thought for a long time but agreed. They decided to get married without a “kalyna” (bride price) and “sep” (dowry). While her side held the bride's farewell with the gift of “jyeen töshök” (bedding) and a chest, the groom's side organized a big wedding in Bishkek.
The day after the wedding, they went to At-Bashy. Her mother-in-law came with them but soon left to work in Turkey. “I cried so much, like a little child, when she left,” she recalls.
Kyzhibek noticed that local traditions differ from her own; even boorsok (fried dough) here has a different shape. She took on household responsibilities, trying to adapt to her new life. There were moments when she wanted to give up, but she persevered because she loved her husband.
“In At-Bashy, even if you don’t know a person, it’s customary to greet the elderly by saying ‘Jashsynar.’ I learned this from my husband’s younger brother, who was in the second grade,” she adds.
“While adapting to life in the new village, I sometimes played with my husband’s younger brother and rode a donkey. Once, I got on a lively horse that ran so fast that I could barely stop it. Now I remember it awkwardly,” she shares.
“When I first moved, I milked 6-7 cows, made butter, süzmö (strained yogurt), and kaymak (clotted cream),” says Kyzhibek, who became the eldest daughter-in-law in the family. Her husband, Uluk Jyrgalbek uulu, was born on October 13, 1995, and is the eldest son in the family; he has two sisters and a brother.
After a year of living in the village, the newlyweds moved to Istanbul, where they lived and worked near Uluk's mother. In 2020, during the quarantine, they returned to the village, and since then, they have settled in At-Bashy.
In 2021, they had a son, and their eldest daughter will soon turn 6, while their son is 4 years old. “Because of the children, I had few opportunities to work, but I didn’t sit idle: I cooked and sold mini-pizzas, sandwiches, and corn dogs in local stores. My husband is involved in livestock resale, and the children go to kindergarten,” she says.
“Sometimes I think that if I wanted to move to the city like many daughters-in-law, my husband wouldn’t mind. But I decided to stay close to him and support him,” Kyzhibek adds. She is proud that they have been together for 8 years and that they have never thought of parting. “We always say that if we try together, we will achieve everything,” she is confident.
Two years ago, they started everything from scratch: they bought land and raised livestock. “This spring, we plan to pour the foundation for a new house,” Kyzhibek shares.
Now her goal is to work in her specialty, and she has already sent out her resume, hoping to find a job. In her free time, she wants to open a social media page to blog about the traditions of Osh and Naryn, as well as share interesting stories from the life of a young daughter-in-law.
Her dream is to work in her profession and provide a decent upbringing for her children. Additionally, Kyzhibek dreams of opening her own bakery.
