Wedding Rites among the Kyrgyz in the Early 20th Century. Part 1

WEDDING RITUALS AMONG THE KYRGYZ

This work is a publication of ethnographic materials by the remarkable scholar F.A. Fielstrup, who was repressed in the early 1930s. It is dedicated to the customs and rituals of the Kyrgyz and some other Turkic peoples in various aspects of daily life, primarily rituals related to the birth and upbringing of children, weddings, and burial-memorial practices. The book provides insight into the economic activities, celebrations and entertainments, traditional social structure of Kyrgyz society, and the archaic layers of the Kyrgyz worldview.

Pre-marital Relationships Among Youth

Kyrgyz Solto-Bolokbai
Sagimbai Orkobayev

Between an unmarried young man and a girl, a relationship is established in which each is referred to as oyansh-tamyr¹, i.e., playmate. The "play" here refers to physical intimacy, which may continue even after the girl gets married.

Local: Sarybulak
bukuu

Such friendships with a girl are arranged through an intermediary woman or a shepherd (who lives in the same yurt with the girl and her family)², especially the latter. After agreeing through the messenger, the young man visits the girl's yurt, is shown where she sleeps, and spends the night with her.

Officially, of course, no one knows about these relationships, but the parents, being in the same yurt with the couple, cannot be unaware of it and usually turn a blind eye, figuratively speaking (if the lovers' whispers become too loud, they might shout, supposedly at a dog — "chih!"), in any case, they do not create a public scandal but influence their daughter with family persuasion.

In the presence of women, the young man allows himself some liberties with his oyansh-tamyr, which can indicate their relationship, but does not go too far.

Marriages between lovers are never concluded. Such romantic relationships occur with the consent of the husband, who is unable to cohabit, or continue without his knowledge, as already mentioned, and can also occur with a married woman (i.e., anew).

Kyrgyz. 1929 (Photo by F.A. Fielstrup)

Oynashtan tulgan bala — "a child born from such a connection." Usually, the mother does not reveal the father of her child and says that the agreed suitor, her future husband, visited her at night. The child is often killed.

Generally, a reference to the actual husband (irke) saves the situation.

Forms of Marriage and Divorce

Tokuzbulak, western shore of Issyk-Kul
Kydyr

Marriages were mainly concluded within social classes: manaps among themselves, bais among themselves, as well as the poor.

A person of higher social standing could take a wife from a lower class, but it was rare for daughters to be given in marriage to a lower class.

Unquestionable obedience to the will of parents.
Belek Soltonaev

1. Belkuda — matchmakers by friendship, if, for example, one owes their life to another. They agree even before the children are born to marry them when they grow up.

2. Kuda — marriage for political reasons, for example, to unite two clans and strengthen one's group.

3. Kudanda — matchmakers by blood friendship, when the appropriate children appear.

4. So'ok kuda — "matchmakers of one bone," to support kinship ties. For example, my son marries the daughter of my mother's brother. So'ok tushtum — to become related through the marriage of someone from one's own, to become matchmakers.

Osh District, Belbashat near Cholkund
Tovaka
adigine

Belkuda (white waist, vertebra) — those who matched each other their unborn children.

Local: Sarybulak
Sagimbai Orkobayev
solto

Tamyr — friend until death. The ritual of establishing friendship consists of an oath on the Quran — Kuran karmashty (dashty)³.

Before the ceremony, people are gathered, livestock is slaughtered, and guests are treated. The title "tamyr" gives a person certain rights in terms of "managing" in the friend's yurt if they find him not at home during a visit; his orders are carried out by women and young men unconditionally, as the commands of the host. Entering into such an alliance obliges both parties not to refuse each other any requests, and sometimes tamyrship ends in a court case when one of the friends abuses their rights and at the same time is insufficiently accommodating⁴.

Abduction of the Bride

Local: Sarybulak
Satyvaldy
bukuu

In the past, brides were rarely abducted.

In the case of bride abduction, a large number of people would come, bind the parents, take the girl herself and all the contents of the yurt, bedding, etc.

For bride theft, a fine was imposed, and the one planning to take the girl was aware of this and prepared for a fine consisting of the full kalym plus 9 heads of livestock. At the very least, additional ones.

Kyrgyz of the Sayak tribe. Songkul (Photo by F.A. Fielstrup)

The bride's hair was later braided into two braids by her mother-in-law.⁵.

Abduction also occurred if the father of the bride, after concluding the contract and receiving part of the kalym, changed his mind and wanted to give his daughter to another.

Zorduk — abduction by force.

Erishtik ayvy — fine for non-fulfillment of the contract.

Songkul
Sadvakass Khozhakin

Alakachu keldi — to steal the bride in case she is already promised to another.

River Karavos, a tributary of Naryn Sayak

Secret abduction of girls was practiced little. In the case of abduction, the pursuers would chase after the thief and take the bride back on the road. If the kidnapper managed to take her away, they would come to demand the kalym or the girl back. They would take her to their aul; if the aul was weak and could not instill respect in the pursuers, fights would occur. The groom would abduct his bride to pay less kalym — the conditions were set by the one who had the girl. There were no special reconciliation ceremonies between the parents of both sides.

Termination of Engagement

Tokuzbulak, western shore of Issyk-Kul
Kydyr

There was a case with Sagimbai Orosbekov. His older sister was promised, but she ran away with the son of the volost, whom she wanted to marry. When the agreed suitor arrived and demanded her, the parents had to pay six camels, 15 five-year-old horses, 15 four-year-olds, 15 three-year-olds, 15 two-year-olds, 60 sheep and good fabric, 60 rams, and 60 rubles. The volost was removed from office, and he paid an additional 3x9 horses⁶ and three camels to the court (biyam and manaps) — otherwise, the parents of the bride and the volost would have been killed.

Indissolubility of Marriage in Pre-Islamic Times

Tokuzbulak, western shore of Issyk-Kul
Jingish aji⁷
Solton Sary

Marriage in ancient times, before Islam, was indissoluble. Divorce (talak) appeared only with the strengthening of Islam.
Kokumbay Jinin

Divorce did not occur in ancient times. Even a marriage arranged while the bride and groom were still in the cradle, upon the utterance of the usual formula: "Allah Akbar" i.e., bata⁸, was considered indissoluble, and in the event of the death of one of the betrothed before marriage, the question of replacement was resolved in the usual manner.

Divorce

Tokuzbulak, western shore of Issyk-Kul
Kydyr

Talak (bir talak, uch talak)⁹ — words spoken by the husband to the wife, after which the marriage is considered dissolved. These words do not have force if she is pregnant before childbirth or if the husband is in an insane state (drunk, has lost his mind, etc.).

After divorce, a woman can remarry after three months, when it is established that she is not pregnant (? — F.F.). In cases where the divorced wish to reunite, and the divorce occurred after the words "bir talak," they can marry again at any time. However, if the divorce was accompanied by the phrase "uch talak," the woman must first be married to another person; after the wedding night, another three months must pass before she can marry her previous husband again after divorcing the new one.

Pre-Islamic Marriage Ceremony

Tokuzbulak, western shore of Issyk-Kul
Belek Soltonaev

Before Islam, marriage was concluded as follows:

1. The consent of both parties was sought, then two people took the ends of a stick, and a third cut it in half in the middle; the ends were thrown in different directions. The same procedure was followed for concluding any conditions and agreements.

2. The husband and wife would cut their fingertip pads and suck each other's blood.

3. Ok tish tegen (literally, "white teeth touched the bullet") — both "bit the bullet," leaving marks of their teeth on the bullet and then kept it. If one betrays, this bullet will kill him. The same was done when establishing friendship¹⁰.

Oath: Sen meni tashtasan — Sen/i/ ok ursun,
Men seni tashtasam — Men/i/ ok ursun ¹¹.

Kokumbay Jinin

Previously, marriage was performed without a mullah, with the help of a person who knew some prayer. The payment for the marriage ceremony was ala kipe. Before the marriage, the groom and bride would pronounce an oath of fidelity and "bite" the bullet during the groom's first visit to the bride.

It is assumed that the marriage was performed without a mullah with the help of a mediator who asked for the consent of both parties in the presence of witnesses, and that was all.

River Makmal-Naryn near Toguz-toro

The bullet was "bitten," concluding the oath, by two unmarried individuals who wished each other independently.

Tokuzbulak, western shore of Issyk-Kul
Bozbashtyk

In ancient times, when mullahs were rare, marriage was concluded with a handshake.

Sororat (the custom of marrying the younger sister of a deceased wife or fiancée).

In the case of the bride's death, either her sister takes her place, or the kalym is returned.

Comments:

1 Oynash-tamyr from Kyrgyz oyno — to play, to amuse, to joke; to be in a romantic relationship; tamyr — friend, companion, comrade; lover (Yudakhin K.K. Kyrgyz-Russian Dictionary. Moscow, 1965. p. 562, 700).
2 If the shepherd was hired, he usually lived in the house (yurt) of the owner.
3 Kuran karmashty — swore on the Quran. From Kuran karmas — to swear on the Quran: while taking an oath, they kiss the Quran, touch it to their forehead, and return it. (Yudakhin K.K. Op. cit. p. 448).
4 The note about tamyrs was provided by F.A. Fielstrup in this section, apparently because tamyrs often swore to become related, i.e., to become matchmakers, thus further strengthening their friendship. For such an oath of tamyrs, see: Argybaev XJl. Family and Marriage Among the Kazakhs. Author's abstract of the dissertation ... Dr. of Historical Sciences. Almaty, 1975. p. 67.
5 Braiding the bride's hair into two braids (a female hairstyle) is a symbol of the girl's transition to another (next) age group (see below). Usually, this was done by the mother or someone from the bride's side. In the case of bride abduction, i.e., in a not entirely traditional way of transitioning the girl to the next age group, this is forced to be done by her mother-in-law. It is not by chance that F.A. Fielstrup marked this entry with the sign NB.
6 Wedding gifts (kalym, as well as offerings, fines, etc.) among the peoples of Central Asia and Kazakhstan were usually counted in "nines" and called tokuz, tokizlyk, etc. (Kislyakov N.A. Essays on the History of Family and Marriage Among the Peoples of Central Asia and Kazakhstan. Leningrad, 1969. p. 106, 118, 140; Peshtereva E.M. Wedding in the Artisan Circles of Karatag / / Family and Family Customs Among the Peoples of Central Asia and Kazakhstan. Moscow, 1978. p. 181; Esbergenov X., Atamura-tov T. Traditions and Their Transformation in the Urban Life of Karakalpaks. Nukus, 1973. p. 67; Yudakhin K.K. Op. cit. p. 741). 2 X 9, 3 x 9, etc. means that they gave two or three "nines" of livestock. And in general, the number 9 is magical, apparently bringing luck and happiness, and figures during wedding ceremonies among many peoples of the world (besides the works mentioned above, see: Abramzon S.M. The Kyrgyz and Their Ethnogenetic and Historical-Cultural Connections. Leningrad, 1971. p. 232; Lobanova N.P. Various Ritual Complexes in the Wedding Ceremony of the Peoples of Central Asia and Kazakhstan / / Pre-Islamic Beliefs and Rituals in Central Asia. Moscow, 1975. p. 304; Toleubaev A.T. Relics of Pre-Islamic Beliefs in the Family Rituals of Kazakhs in the 19th — early 20th centuries. Almaty, 1991. p. 33—34. The literature is also provided there).
7 Aji — the same as hadji, i.e., a person who has made a pilgrimage to Mecca.
8 Bata — one of the meanings of the word: a prayerful farewell, a blessing that was performed after a feast at the end or beginning of an agreement, some business; expressed satisfaction with the results or a wish for success (Yudakhin K.K. Op. cit. p. 116).
9 Talak — divorce (of spouses); bir talak — single divorce; uch talak — triple divorce. For a triple divorce to be valid, it is sufficient to say the word "talak" three times, after which only formalities follow (Yudakhin K.K. Op. cit. p. 695).
10 With the advent of Islamic marriage, the punishing function for an unfaithful spouse was taken over not by the bullet but by "wedding water" (see below), as for example, among the Kazakhs (Toleubaev A.T. Op. cit. p. 25).
11 Literally.
"If you leave me,
May a bullet strike you,
If I leave you,
May a bullet strike me."